Troy: Epic Masterpiece or epic disappointment?

A movie review

Troy is lavishly shot and very expensive. Do these two things actually mean an amazing masterpiece? Yes and no. Yes, it is a technical masterpiece that fuses state of the art computer graphics with live-action characters. But the negative is much larger, much bigger, and too much to balance out the good. Wolfgang Petersen, who has directed Air Force One, Das Boot, and the Perfect Storm tries to make an epic film. But something happens that no one would predict. He fails.

The film already has the trimmings of a masterpiece: a great story, remarkable visual effects, and credible and non-cardboard cutout characters. But this was when the script was sold and the film in pre-production. Now, with the film in theatres, it is a huge disappointment. Troy was the film to beat in 2004 with its magnificent promotion through theatrical trailers, posters, and it's star, Brad Pitt. But nothing prepared me for the worst.

Let's start off with the good:

The battles in this film, although shot in super-close up, were quite believable and added depth to the film instead of taking away from it. But the meat of these battles were mano e mano. The Hector vs. Achilles battle was particularly the most intense fight since the Thai film Ong Bak and choreographed so well I was at the edge of my seat.

The visual effects, although not Lord of the Rings type VFX, were done quite well (save for the obvious CGI bloodletting during the ending).

Now for the bad:
How can a great book (The Iliad) be adapted into such a boring and almost lifeless movie? The Iliad loved its characters much more and added gods and goddesses to the mix to add more power to the book. The film though, removes the gods and goddesses and just gives the people one God.

The screenplay in this film was downright horrible save for one spot. It was cheesy, laughable, and atrocious. The only segment of the film that contained any great dialogue was during a conversation between King Priam of Troy and Achilles. If the film contained more elegant and beautiful dialogue like this, the film would certainly be a masterpice.

There was only one character that was really annoying in this film, and no, it's not Orlando Bloom's Paris. Everyone has been talking about how Paris is annoying and just plain cowardly. Well, that's how he was in the book and that's how he was here. The problem is the film's main star, Brad Pitt. In the film, the film describes Achilles as a man with presence, Brad Pitt, though, has none. In the beginning of the film, Achilles is sought out and he comes running toward in an army. You're supposed to feel that something awesome was going to happen. Well, nothing didn't. Russell Crowe should have played Achilles. His role as Maximus in Gladiator was brilliant, a role as Achilles would have even been better. Eric Bana does a great job as Hector, another prince of Troy. His character is credible, believable, and shows that he is not invincible. Throughout the entire movie, Achilles never gets nicked, scratched, or cut until the very end. But the brilliant performance comes not surprisingly from Peter O' Toole. Jesus Christ, give this guy a real Oscar already (not some shitty recognition Oscar), his performance in the film is heartbreaking and incredible, albeit just a really long cameo. Diane Kruger, who plays Helen, was as wooden as the wooden desk that I'm typing on right now. Sure, she's really hot (man, that body), but her acting leaves much to be desired.

Another part I really hated was the orchestral score. I don't know but it just plain stunk. I've never hated a score before but this one didn't fit the film at all. Sometimes it would just take scores from other films (Gladiator, Dragonheart) and make it sound a little different to be original. I don't know but that kind of music is just plain gay.

Overall:
I wanted to like Troy but I didn't. I don't hate it but man, after all the hype this has been getting, I wasn't prepared for the shitstorm that was going to hit my eyes. The casting director of the film was going for the hunk factor in the film but should've gotten people who aren't stars yet. When I see Brad Pitt, I see.......Brad Pitt. When I see Russell Crowe, I see Maximus, Dr. John Forbes Nash, Jr., Captain Jack Aubrey, and the Sid 6.7 android.

Grade: C-, An epic that contains a lot of fat but no meat.