Sorry about the multiple posts today. I removed the post about my Grandma. What I posted was wrong and should have kept to myself. Please forgive me people. Have some of you ignored me? What can I do make myself shine in your eyes' again?

I can get really pissy sometimes. I can make people angry as well: Wency (I NEED SILENCE!), Felice (hey remember that time you took that picture of me and stuck your letter opener between tje eyes in 8th Grade?), Jorge (I don't know but it'll come), and some other people.

I thought I was going to be late for my Development & Pre-production class. I left my house at 3:36 pm and decided to take North Avenue thinking it would be faster. The gas tank was half full so I decided to gas up my aunt's car. It only cost $4.50 (whew). At this time, I was thinking that maybe I should have just taken St. Charles road instead of North Avenue. Traffic is a motherfucking ass with people cutting you off and other types of shit. I arrive at my apartment at 4:48. I go upstairs to bring my clean clothes into my room and leave for my aunt Perla's. I leave the car at her apartment and go upstairs to bring the shit she asked for. It's already 4:54 and I run to the train station. After running onto the train, my right calf muscle begin to spasm and convulse because of the sudden activity in my legs. It begins to hurt like a motherfucking bitch on crack. 5:42 and my class is at 6. I go to the class but before that meet my friends rich and some guy I know but I don't remember his name. Go up at around 5:53 and bam! My teacher is sick with the flu but he just wants to say one thing and then we can split. I submit my assignments and then I leave for the motherfucking day.

On the way home, I see a girl I like working at the Mad Pottery in Oak Park. I couldn't believe it. When I looked inside, I was surprised. I didn't know she worked there. I pass by there everyday but I never looked through its clean, spotless windows. I can't speak to her. It would mean breaking a promise doing that. She intimidates me, she scares me, she freaks me fucking out. What can I do? Why can't this just be a friendship? Does it have to end in hatred and disgust? I don't know. But I just put my head down whenever I think about her. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm an idiot, I'm shit and she's champagne. I'm the lowest common denominator of everything. She truly is beauty defined and it hurts. Really bad.