It's all shits and giggles on fucking hell week boys and girls.

This past week must have been the worst week ever. On Monday I had diarrhea. It was very fucking severe. And I mean so severe, I was shitting every 2 minutes. LITERALLY! On Monday, I shit so much that when I tried to wipe blood would transfer onto the piece of toilet paper. And it wasn't shit I was shitting but water and salad. Salad you ask? Yes, fucking salad. I was told that it may have been the spinach in the salad that fucking did me in. I now hate spinach. I never liked it anyway. My brother kept on laughing at me throughout the entire thing. That Monday night, I ran to the bathroom to find my brother blocking the door (unintentionally) with his huge fucking 6-foot frame. I was already fucking shitting in my pants. And it was water shit. Not just watery shit but water shit PERIOD. As I slammed my huge fucking ass on the toilet seat, there was already water shit on the floor. And all my brother did was laugh. What an asshole he was the entire time.

On Tuesday, my brother would taunt me by eating a Big Mac and huge fries in front of me while I sat there drinking Gatorade. And on this Tuesday, I wasn't allowed to eat anything. No solids, no soft shit, NOTHING! Just fluids, fluids, and more fucking fluids. By the end of Tuesday, my ass was raw, bloody, and stinging from all the shitting I did the entire day. That night, I prayed to God and cried. I cried hard, REAL HARD. I've never felt like this before. I felt so weak from not eating and all night I was shitting every 15 minutes. I slept only a good 3 hours before shitting water again. And through all this, the next day was a day of a final exam.

Wednesday came around and things started looking up. I wasn't shitting as much and I could eat again. I could only eat plain toast, clear broth, and crackers. Again, Wency taunted me while he ate Chocolate Overload ice cream. Because I couldn't take my final, I had to e-mail my teacher. Fortunately, he understood my problem and told me to take it on Friday if I was better. I called my Script Analysis and told her I couldn't go to class because I had the severe shits. She told me that I still had to go. I prayed to God that night that my diarrhea would be cured the next day.

You know what. God listens.

Thursday I woke up to take a shit and it wasn't water anymore. It was overly soft but not water shit anymore. I packed up my backpack and took some extra underwear with me in case I have an accident. I took the exam and went home. I was happy. I didn't have an accident at all. It was like I climbed my own Everest for this past week.

Friday came up and I took my last final. I finished it in two minutes and celebrated it with a trip to McDonalds and bought two McChickens. I was elated to find my shit actually hard and no longer just water.

I thank God for my Mom. She called the nurse to find out what I can do to make my body better. She didn't even sleep Monday night because she was so worried about me. If only I can say the same about my brother.

The hell week has past. And now I'm just happy. I gotta go now, I'm feel like I'm gonna take a shit.