Why I Have Balls

I remember saying that I had two balls my last post but I forgot to post on why I had two balls.

Okay.

Here goes.

Breathe with me.

I finally told my dad (I think last, last Sunday) that I'm going to the Philippines. I waited a long time to tell my dad because I wondered how he'd take it. But first, I needed a great assist from my mom. You see, she's the Steve Nash of starting up conversations. So she effing starts up that shit with "Dad, your son needs to tell you something."

With my balls sweating and my palms shaking, I tell him.

"Papa, I'm going to the Philippines."

I didn't notice I was shaking all over but Wency and my mom said that I was. Wency detected the shiver-y-ness of my voice.

My dad starts getting angry.

"First of all, I'm already spending so much money on your medicine and now you're telling me this? We have no money!"

I then interrupt him and tell him, "No, the school is paying for it." For the past few days, I've been thinking in my head what to tell him. It had to be lies, lies, lies because I'm going to turn the Tayag house into the house of fucking lies. But they had to be lies that seemed legit but also in a way that seemed that I wouldn't be caught off guard later. Wency told me later that why I didn't tell him that I got a grant from the school. Well, first off, when tax time comes, he might ask me for the files pertaining to the grant and if he could have them. So in my little shitty mind I said, "FUCK THAT SHIT." "The school is paying for it" was a much better choice.

I then tell him that I'm going to do a thesis there to see what's wrong with the sound facilities in the Philippines and that I'm going to write a report on how to fix it. The thing is, there's no thesis, no paper, nothing. He then tells me, "You'd better do that right away so you can enjoy your time there." I then respond, "Yeah, I'll be sending in weekly reports to the school." You see, again, I had to do that. It was completely necessary so my dad could see that I was responsible (despite being a complusive fucking liar).

He then tells me that I should live with Tita Perla.

(The following will be displayed like an awesome fucking screenplay that producers could pay me 2.5% more for DVD residuals and then 1% for internet sales)

Mom (interrupting Dad): He'll live in Tessie's house.
Dad (screaming): Why should he live there?!
Mom: Because Chrissie and Felice live there, he has a good relationship with them.
Dad: So?! Just because he has a good relationship with them means he SHOULD live with them?!

[In the corner, Wency eats like a nimble rat wanting to get out of the kitchen.]

Dad: Daniel, you live in Dapitan! Okay?!
Me (softly): okay

[Daniel then takes a carbine rifle and shoots his dad in the head. Dad then turns into a fucking xenomorph from the film "Alien" and immediately grabs Mom and rips her head off. Wency then screams "Awesome, Mom!" exactly the way the kid in Transformers says it.]

Okay, that last description didn't really happen.

So, that's the way it happens. In the end, my dad is also a little happy because I'm leaving at the right time Irene's husband is coming so they can use my room when I'm away. I just hope that their kids don't mess up my room. Felice did a great job painting that room and I hope they don't pee on it.

I can't wait to go the Philippines! To be honest, I really want to see how their sound production facilities work in the Philippines. Super Noypi had a total of three sound people doing the entire soundtrack while American Gangster had about twenty (and that's just the main people).

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On another note, I congratulate Jorge (aka Enrique Santis) for finally proposing to Analyn. I forgot how many kids died just looking for that goddamn blood diamond but it looks awesome.

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Alicia Keys' new song on the radio is goddamn amazing. I can't stop listening to it.

Jimmy Eat World's new album is so so so so good. If there's one flaw in the album, it's that there's no perfect track like in their last album Futures. The most perfect song on that album was "23".

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After watching American Gangster at home 3 times, I finally watched it in a theater last Saturday. Man, that movie just keeps on getting better for me. It's one of the year's ten best. Next up on my list: PT Anderson's "There Will Be Blood", Frank Darabont's "The Mist", the Coen Brothers' "No Country for Old Men", Robert Zemeckis' "Beowulf", and many others.

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Still.

Brilliant.

After 3 viewings.