Sense of Clarity

"You know what man, I've realized something about you. You complain about many things: your classes, your life, your dad, etc., etc. But you have to realize something here, man, you're lazy. You lack discipline and focus in your life. You're only taking 12 hours of school right now and you're already fucking up. You don't have a job, you don't have a girlfriend, and most of the time, you don't even have homework, so what the hell are you complaining about? You really need to focus your life because I'm tired of hearing this bullshit from you."

That's what my friend Mike wrote to me while I was talking to him about how I should get a job, being tired most of the time, sleeping in already for some classes blah blah blah. And you know what? He's right. Most of my day is made up of being in front of this laptop just surfing the internet. Sometimes I'm so bored that I go to people's blogs repeatedly, even though I've read the posts. The problem is that most of the time, I have homework and I always do it hours before it's due. I need to get my life in order. I waste a lot of time just using the internet and sulking around the house. Right now, my life doesn't have any focus right now.

I now have realized what Wency was talking about why he never wanted to go to the Philippines. He said, "because I don't want to feel depressed anymore." You see, my trip to the Philippines felt like a drug. Everyday was a high, feeling good that I never had a worry in the world. I'd say to myself, "I could just worry about that later." Now, I'm on a downslope. At times, I feel so depressed because my psoriasis has been flaring up lately. On top of that, my miracle drug, Enbrel, is unattainable. It used to cost $30 for a month's supply but now because of my dad's new medical insurance, it's $2,675.

My brother was right in saying that the Philippines is like a great girlfriend. I can't describe what he meant by that but you know what I mean.

I need some tips on how to focus my life. Please leave some comments on how I could make my life better.

A Weekend in the City

I bought the new Bloc Party album and again, it's fucking brilliant. There's only one thing that disappoints me: the mix. It's so frickin' compressed and filtered that it sounds like it's coming out of a radio. Why can't mix something that sounds clear and crisp like Norah Jones? I know that their music belongs in a different genre but it can be mixed beautifully.