Here's a nice little movie quiz for you guys:

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

Alexander
2004
Director: Oliver Stone (Natural Born Killers, Platoon, JFK)
Starring: Colin Farrell, Val Kilmer, Angelina Jolie, and Jared Leto.

This film received some very negative reviews from film critics in the U.S. But I don't blame them, Alexander is one of the most boring, inane, and painful films to watch. Boring because characters make speeches that go on forever, inane because many talented actors are completely wasted (Kilmer is dumbed down to a wife beating drunk), and painful because it could have been so much better. Fuck that, it should have been so much better. Oliver Stone has directed some magnificent films (JFK, Platoon) and some bad ones (Natural Born Killers) but this one has to be a new low for him. Oliver Stone wanted so much historical accuracy in this film I think he forgot about a great script. The film has ambition but no vision whatsoever.

It's pathetic to see Colin Farrell's Alexander reduced to a crybaby in some scenes. Some shots are totally ripped from the technically and emotionally superior Hero and many of the lines are reminiscent of much better films (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings).

To write how bad this film is, I have to write about the acting. Colin Farrell has been amazing in Phone Booth, Daredevil, and Minority Report but here he overacts so much you don't feel for him, you pity him. Academy Award winner Angelina Jolie is just reduced to a bitch role who sounds like one of Dracula's brides and the great Anthony Hopkins has been reduced to a role that sounds like he's just reading from cue cards. Jared Leto, who has been great in Requiem For a Dream and American Psycho is in the film speaking in a monotone voice caressing Alexander everytime he has a chance. Don't worry folks, I'm not done yet.

Stone's vision of the film is so ambitious that it tries to outdo other movies of the same caliber (Braveheart) but instead of surpassing them, it looks like it's a fucking parody. For example, Alexander gives a speech to his army but instead of giving a speech that his emotional and powerful, it sounds idiotic and cliched. Stone never shows the drive that Alexander had to make him Alexander the Great. It never showed the complexity of Alexander and his yearning to be the best. The film only shows bits and pieces, this and that, it feels like many important scenes were cut out of the movie, only leaving the worst behind. The film does imply the homosexual undertones of the times but the emotional and loving bond between Alexander and his lover Hephaistion (Jared Leto) is absolutely nil.

The final important aspect of the film that truly bothered me was the music. Scored by Vangelis (Chariots of Fire, Blade Runner), it sounds almost like his Blade Runner score but without the amazing bravado of it. Many of the battle scenes which require and pulse pounding score is only given a snippnet of the magnitude in which the score actually gives. The score not only make the battle scenes look boring but they feel flat as well.

I never thought I would see a film as bad as Alien vs. Predator this year. Alien vs. Predator, at least, never bored me with idiotic speeches of love and ambition. And this is the first time in my life I slept in the movie theatre. What a fucking waste of time this film is. As many critics have said, "This makes Troy look like a masterpiece." This statement is absolutely true and for Oliver Stone, you should be ashamed of yourself for directing this overblown piece of shit.

Absolutely the worst film of the year, BY FAR.

Grade: F

Two albums for recommendation:

Green Day - American Idiot
Jimmy Eat World - Futures (Highly Recommended)

I especially love track 8 (Drugs For Me) on the Futures album.

Sideways
Director: Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt)
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church, Virginia Madsen, and Sandra Oh.

This was absolutely one of the best films I have seen this year (maybe in the top 5). It was remarkably funny and also sad, precious, and beautiful in many parts. My favorite scene had to be Paul Giamatti's character speaking to his ex-wife after his best friend's wedding at the end. His expression was just heartbreaking to say the least but in a way, it was completely enthralling.

There was also one scene where Miles (Giamatti) and his crush Maya (Virginia Madsen) have a discussion on wines and the words that come out of their mouths are genuine and poetic. It was simply beautiful to listen to them talk about wine. In many ways, I could relate with Miles' sadness and maybe that's why I love the film so much. It may not be as entertaining as the Incredibles but the intelligence and wit that it gives off is simply spectacular. I recommend this film dearly to those who love film. One more note: I truly and dearly loved the ending (which I will not spoil), which is the definitive meaning of hope and happiness.

Grade: A+

I'm now at school using their gay ass slow internet. Well, I think I'll just post my other best albums tomorrow in just one fell swoop. I think I'll watch that Sideways movie starring Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church, and Sandra Oh directed by Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt). I heard great things about that movie.

Here's another poll for yous guys:

Who do you think would win in a fight?

Giant douche Turd sandwich Ron Artest

Free polls from Pollhost.com

I really hate song covers. There are exceptions (Jeff Buckley's awesome rendition of "Hallelujah") but there are some that simply suck. Jessica Simpson is the latest so called artist to do covers. Unfortunately, all she does is suck at them. Take for example the song "Angels." Sung by Robbie Williams, it is timeless, beautiful, and incredibly poetic. In Jessica Simpson's version, she sounds like she's dying when she's singing it. Add to that the screaming that she does when it's supposed to be a higher range. Well, I want to know your thoughts.

What do you think of Jessica Simpson's rendition of "Angels"?

It's great. It's good. It's okay. It's pretty bad. It sucks. It's so horrible I wanna shoot myself. Jessica Simpson looks like a female Ashton Kutcher.

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Man, did anyone see that player vs. audience brawl at the Pistons vs. Pacers game? Man, it got ugly, really ugly.

Wow, haven't posted in nearly a week. Here's the shit that's going down:

Sunday night, I had a massive earache on my right ear. It hurt so much that I only slept for only 2-3 hours. It doesn't hurt anymore today but I was wondering why it hurt so much Sunday night.

I couldn't believe Margaret Hassan was killed (a bullet to the head). All she did was help the people of Iraq and the motherfuckers killed her because she was in Iraq. The thing was, she was a fucking citizen of Iraq and they still killed her. What fucks. I hope they burn in Hell when those murdering fucks die. I don't know why they behead all those people. I'm reminded of a quote from the brilliant film American History X:

"Have all those horrible things you've done made your life better?"

For the Iraqis, I think it's just making it worse for them.

Today, during Freshman Seminar we were having discussing homosexuality and man it got ugly. One of my classmates, Brian, left way before the class ended because he was so disgusted at one of my other classmates. Dan, not me but another Dan, speaks of extremist Republican values and is truly against homosexuality and man, the shit hit the fan. I got my 2 cents into the battle and I have to say that it felt good to talk about the issue. But to say that homosexuality is dysfunctional is just wrong. Sure, I get uncomfortable around gay people it doesn't make them freaks. To be abnormal is normal but in Dan's speech it felt that his defintion of normal is actually being perfect. What a Nazi fuck.

Mini movie reviews

The Calcium Kid
What a nice little mockumentary film starring Orlando Bloom. I doubt that this will be released in the U.S. and what a shame. A great little gem with a great performance from Orlando Bloom as Jimmy Connolly, a milkman with bones as hard as titanium, who gets his chance to fight the boxing champion of the world.

Grade: A


Face
This film was a great surprise for me. I felt that the premise was original but I thought that it would be another Ring rip-off. The story is anything but the Ring (although the dead girl does look like Sadako. Does every scary ghost have to have long black hair?) and the ending is quite shocking. It manipulates the viewer in many ways Saw never would have. It is inevitable that this will be remade in the U.S.

Grade: A-


Three: Extremes - Dumplings
I heard great things about this film and they are true. A superb horror film from Fruit Chan involving aborted fetuses. If you cannot stomach people eating aborted babies, then this film is not for you. The film is about an aging woman (Miriam Yeung) who gets addicted to eating aborted babies because it makes the person feel and look much younger. An enthralling performance from Bai Ling (The Crow, Red Corner), as the cook who makes the devilish dumplings, makes this film a must see. Gotta love that ending!

Grade: A

The Incredibles (2004)
Walt Disney presents a Pixar production
Director: Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, The Simpsons)
Voices: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Sarah Vowell, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jason Lee.

"If everyone is special, then that means no one is."

Damn! Can Pixar do no wrong? NOPE. Can they make a shitty movie? HELL NO! Can Dreamworks beat Pixar at their own game? FUCK NO! I think I just saw the best American produced movie of the year!!! This is by far the most enjoyable, most entertaining, most intelligent, and the most fun movie of the year. I thought Pixar could not top themselves after Finding Nemo but oh man, The Incredibles destroys it on almost every level. For all the people who loved Shrek 2, this film will blow your minds! Mr. Incredible could kick Shrek's ass to pieces!!!! I kept smiling and laughing throughout the entire movie, I was like a kid in a huge candy store with infinite choices!

"We're superheroes, what can go wrong?"

Writing a summarization of the plot here is pointless because everyone NEEDS to see this movie. If you hate this movie, you just don't like movies at all. I can't write a thorough review of this film because it's just pointless. It's so good that I am proclaiming it better than Kill Bill: Volume 2, Spider-Man 2, Garden State, House of Flying Daggers, and many other films I have declared some of the best this year (with only the exception of one and I'm telling about that at the end of the year).

"SHOWTIME!"

I can't give enough praise for Pixar, director Brad Bird, and all the people involved with this movie. It's stupendous, awesome, perfect, and most of all.......INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!


Grade: A+!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AN AWESOME MOVIE!!!!! See this film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hate it when my relatives ask me if I voted and I say no. Then they freakin ask me if I would vote for Bush. I say no and then they get mad because I SHOULD be voting for Bush because I'm fucking Catholic. The thing is, I don't agree with many issues with Bush. I think that to vote, you need to agree with the some of the issues that the candidate is going for rather than religion. I think that religion is fucked up and most of all hypocritical. I think that abortion is horrible but does that mean that I'm against it? No. I'm not against it because sometimes it helps those women who cannot have a child or when a woman is raped and a child is born through it. I don't base my life on religion, I base my life on the current issues like the economy (which Bush is currently fucking up), terrorism (where Bush is fucking up as well), and social security (with Bush, I won't have social security when I get older). So, that's my answer and I'm fucking sticking to it.

Am I the only one who thinks that the Star Wars Episode III trailer was underwhelming? I don't know but it DOES look COOL but not cool enough to warrant a viewing at the theatre. I really hate that CG Yoda though.

That South Park was just fucking hilarious. Loved that reference to the Matrix Reloaded. I also laughed every time a person would shit when they died. Is there something Matt Stone and Trey Parker won't do?

Saw
2004
Director: James Wan
Starring: Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell, Danny Glover, Ken Leung, Monica Potter, Dina Meyer, and Tobin Bell.

THE ULTIMATE IN TERROR! Yeah fucking right.

I was really disappointed in this film. I was expecting something really scary and I mean "The Omen" scary. You see, in my opinion, "The Omen" is the scariest movie ever made. It's scarier than the Exorcist, Poltergeist, Candyman, and about every scary movie made combined. It's strength in delivering scares is the belief that it can happen. And shit, the things in the Omen can truly happen in real life. When Saw was shown in audiences at the Sundance Film Festival, many audiences were raving about it. Some were calling it this year's Blair Witch Project and some were calling it contrived bullshit or a rip-off of David Fincher's Seven. Well, I know I'm in the latter group.

I liked this film a tiny bit but it could have been so much more. The film could have been scary but it isn't. It could have been smart but it wasn't. It could have been thrilling but it's just definitely not. The problem with the film lies with the script and many of its conventional plot points. The true revealing of the killer at the end is not only stupid but manipulative. It makes the viewer look stupid and at the end of the movie, you feel stupid.

Add to that the horrendous acting by Cary Elwes and Danny Glover. Jesus Christ, I haven't seen acting this bad since the Filipino film Agimat. At times, when subtle, Elwes gives some of his best performance as Dr. Lawrence Gordon but when he tries to act too hard it leads into self parody. Many of the final scenes in the film made me laugh because of the ridiculous acting. And what the hell is Danny Glover doing in this film? He is totally miscast as a cop. He is the same character as he was in those Lethal Weapon movies but only with an insane streak going with it. Leigh Whannell as Adam, in his first film in a starring role, is also bad in this film. In a scene where he's supposed to be playing along with a ploy, it felt more comedic than horrific (when you're trying to fool the person who kidnapped you, at least make it look real!). From the bad performances to the ludicrous script, many things just are bad in this film.

Many films require a sense of disbelief but this one takes the fucking cake. How can Person X get shot with a shotgun to the back but yet be able to run off? Why can't Cop Y shoot the motherfucking killer in the leg instead of telling him to shut up? Why didn't Cop X and Cop Y bring more policemen than themselves?! How can Person Y stay still for 8 hours without moving? Many questions but no answers.

As I said before, this was a rip-off of Seven and it truly is. The killer named Jigsaw really hates people who take their lives for granted. This motive is used throughout the movie but one important character is not even shown why he was chosen. This really bugged and annoyed me. Seven was superior in every way than this film. The killer was even revealed before the ending and his purpose of the film was actually a fucking PURPOSE. The killer in this film is never given a purpose.

I only truly liked a bit of this film for two reasons. The imaginative ways the people can die and it's premise but that's it. As I said before, this film could have been so much more but it isn't. The ultimate in terror it is not. It's more like the ultimate in stupidity. The more I think about this movie, I more I hate it. Maybe that's the film's true purpose, isn't it?

Grade: D

The reason why the DVD was created.


It's in Chinese, but you get the gist of it. I WANT THIS SET!!!!!

Media Asia and Megastar have just announced the EIGHT DISC Infernal Affairs Trilogy boxset. Man oh man, it comes with a custom engraved metal case and to top that off, every movie in the trilogy has been remastered from a High Definition source and with DTS-ES and Dolby Digital EX 6.1 sound to boot. And the reason why I'm drooling for this set is this, it contains the trilogy in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!!! With only being $70, I'm certainly saving my $$$$$ for this.